German Oral Practice – from April 5, 2006

Found this while going through old emails. I’d intended to double-major in German and French, but ended up not continuing with German, even though I thought it was easier to speak than French.

I’ve listened to this three times now and don’t know what the hell I’m saying. Let’s hope you real German speakers out there don’t have the same problem…



Announcing my new book: Tear·Sin

Poor boy. Coming into Hell, to challenge the Unburnt.

The knights of Madri seek death in battle, wandering the countryside, fighting injustice in a rapidly modernizing world. When the legendary knight, Ganton the Unburnt, joins the trans-oceanic slave trade, Tyrsan decides to stop him. A young knight eager to prove himself, Tyrsan faces a worldwide cabal of slavers, corrupt officials and Ganton, the greatest warrior in the world gone mad.

Tear·Sin is available for $1.50 at Amazon and Smashwords! And to celebrate my new book, all my old books will be available for FREE on Smashwords from now until October 10.


New short story: ‘A Little Sting’

If you’d had enough of listicles and outrage porn, then check out my new short story ‘A Little Sting’ in the debut issue of The Unpublishables. Free to read, what kind of writing is it? Straight from the editor’s mouth:

I could give a fuck what a character looks like unless there’s some relevancy to it. Nothing I hate more than reading along and the momentum is stopes just to take out time to tell me what color their hair and eyes are. Fuck that! Just tell the Goddamn story. Who the fuck really cares what color someone’s eyes and hair are?

Read it here!

3 & 30

I was twelve when my mother turned thirty.

We went to O’Charley’s for her birthday dinner. I had the same thing I always got back then: chicken tenders with extra honey mustard. Someone in our dysfunctional entourage told the hostess it was my mother’s birthday, and at the end of dinner all the waiters and waitresses came marching up with a small cake, clapping and singing Happy Birthday. My mother’s face turned red.

Get ready for the slide, my grandfather told her, making downhill motions with his hand. My mother believed him, back then, in 1998.

Right side of thirty, wrong side, what do they use nowadays, as a measure of terminated youth? But numbers don’t matter; events do.

Whether you like it or not, your youth ends the day your children are born. The downcycle of your life begins and no song is sweeter.

…their replacement. The day was coming (sooner than either of them realized or wanted to admit) when Julia would be a grown woman and both of them would be old, on the wrong wrong side of thirty, what hisgrandfather had called the top of the slide. How Julia acted, what she did, it all depended on how they raised her. Like it or not, the moment your child is born, the downcycle of your life begins, whether you’re high school sweethearts or early thirties professionals.